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Brand names are like online casino games; they have the potential to enrich and entertain you. Some are catchy - but not as in ‘infectious’ like the way the Corona beer virus has apparently caused a global pandemic - while others are clever and witty.
When it comes to tipple, the delightfully drinkable Mexican beer unfairly associated with the so-called beer coronavirus is a big brand fail. But who would have thought a brew named after the Spanish word for ‘crown’ could cause such unadulterated panic?
Take small batch beers like the lascivious Honey Blonde, the deliciously creamy Milkshake and the eloquent drinking partner of the mainstream alcoholic, Broken Dream and you can see why brewers have such fun coming up with cool labels.
The Punk Rocker English Pale Ale from the Poison City Breweries, Endless Summer by Brewhaha Jbay and De Poes, a Belgian beer with a black cat on the label are a few of my personal favourites - although small town Calvinists are likely to splutter into their moer koffie!
If you are more of a wine connoisseur than a beer buff, there are equally enjoyable wine labels to liven up your day. How about the Arrogant Frog, a limited edition Ribet Red that you can happily quaff as you play the best online casino games right here at Springbok Casino?
Then there is the Big Ass Table Wine from a weight-conscious Californian winery; Frog’s Piss a lively red from the French Bordeaux region and the indelicately labelled Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand called Cat’s Pee on a Gooseberry Bush!
South Africa’s Fat Bastard, Running Duck and Goat’s Do Roam wine labels have a fun allure all of their own and are the perfect accompaniment to a few light-hearted hours playing slots, roulette and other online casino games that don’t require too much of your attention!
Move into bourbon territory and you can bang back a few snifters of Larceny or Rebel Yell – both apt descriptions of the kind of reactions that are commonplace when you blather your way through the whole bottle.
Try a swig or two of Bulleit Bourbon and there’s a good chance you’ll wake up the next morning with a proverbial bullet through the head!
Malt whisky distilleries in Scotland and Ireland may produce the finest whiskies in the world but they lack creativity when it comes to brand names. It’s all ‘ich’ or ‘och’ attached to some glen or loch. Smokehead and Peat’s Beast are about the best of the bunch!
Move across to the blends and you will find fine Scotch whiskey sold under barmy brands like Sheep Dip, Scallywag, Copper Dog and Timorous Beastie… which to y’all is a fearsome field mouse with a puzzled expression and half-cocked ear!
How about online casino games? Are there any particularly catchy or funny online slots titles? The developers at RTG may be design wizards but the names designated to the games don’t really elicit much in the way of a giggle or a grunt.
Cash Bandits, Mister Money and Dream Run are true to form as they promise lots of loot on the reels but for my money, I fancy the ridiculous like Wok n Roll, Hairway to Heaven and Swindle All the Way!
Automotive brands are big and include luxury marques like Rolls Royce, Maybach, Daimler and Jaguar. Dig a little deeper and you’ll find smaller national auto manufacturers that are both unique and amusing. How about the Troll of Norway, Grieve of Peru, ZIL and GAZ of Russia and the inimitable Moose Jaw Standard of Canada!
France had the Le Zebre, England the Frisky and Italy the Fornasari, a sensuous racing car for the fornicator perhaps? My all-time favourite when it comes to vehicle marques is the oh so contemporary Ford Ka. It is short, sweet and diminutive just like the car itself.
No-one in their right mind would call a SUV, 4x4 or double cab a Ka. Something along the lines of ElevatorXX, Torquetwister or SLUT – seriously large utility truck – would obviously do the trick.
When it comes to software development companies, brands like Majestyk, TheNineHertz and Hashrocket are pretty catchy and creative. So too is Taskus for outsourced customer support, Glassdoor for market research and Dope Tech for innovative tech support.
Fast Enterprises, a company that specialises in software development for government agencies, is probably intentionally tongue in cheek. Show me a government agency anywhere that is remotely ‘fast’ and I’ll eat my hat!
Huge, Otherland, Storyation, Omelet and Big Spaceship are all memorable brand names in the content marketing sector. However, it is the mobile app sector that comes up with gloriously ground breaking titles like Soundcloud, BandCamp, TikTok, Nwsty, Audible, Duolingo, Mint and Steam!
So… how did Corona morph into a beer virus? The truth of course is that it didn’t. There is absolutely no link at all between the yummy golden ale and the dreaded virus that is currently sweeping the world.
What is really sad or amusing, depending on how you look at things is the fact that it is predominantly middle-class English-speaking Americans who are bashing the popular beer label.
In fact, as many as 38 percent of Americans allegedly tweeted that they would avoid buying the Mexican heritage beer brand because they feared it caused the coronavirus! Duh?
Seriously people? There is no connection between Corona and the coronavirus. In fact, there is no link between beer - any beer - and the virus so chill, grab a cold one and enjoy the best ever online casino games right now.
Where can you play the best online casino games for real money and for free? On a cross-channel gaming platform that is fast, agile and quintessentially South African… and by that we mean Springbok Casino, of course.